Black Dress, Red Carpet, Golden Globes: #MeToo Is for Reals (So Let’s Do This)

I have a confession to make: I have not invested myself into the #metoo movement like I should have. Yes, I wrote my story. But I’ve always worn my story on my sleeve, so this is nothing new.

And Yes, I’ve read a few other things about it, but they were things that worked equally as hard to be put in my way as I worked to seek them out, which is not much. They sort of just happened to be there.

Why? I was examining this after witnessing the massive black dress support from celebrities on the red carpet at the #goldenglobe awards, and I was wondering why I haven’t done more to participate, more to engross myself in this amazing movement that proclaims to be changing the world.

So here’s what I’ve come up with: I’m scared.

I’m scared that it’s not really true. That is doesn’t really change anything. That it doesn’t really have the momentum, the impact, the force that lip-service says it has.

It’s like I’m sitting back and waiting for it to prove itself to me, because the cynical, skeptical person inside me is just waiting for it to fail and be forced to the back of the bus again (and I apologize if I don’t have the right to use that phrase; it just feels fitting).

I’m waiting for it to not be popular anymore. I tend to ask myself how many of its supporters are only standing behind it because it’s the cool place to be right now? I hope not many. But I’m scared it’s a lot.

Or maybe I’m just waiting for someone to pinch me (unasked, inevitably, on the ass, again).

I ask myself why I feel so cynical about it, and I guess it’s just years of living in a world where my objectification was normal.

But then, I also have to ask myself, isn’t it true that society has progressed as a whole in so many ways over the years? Yes.

There’s clearly a lot more work to do until we’re all supremely accepting and respectful of one another, but isn’t it also true that we’ve made so many strides toward that goal already? Yes. Isn’t it amazing that a massive group of people with a lot of power to sway opinion all stood as one at those Golden Globe awards in solidarity, in recognition, and as proof of movement toward a better way? Yes.

We have to keep just enough reality in us to continue working toward something better, but at the same time, we also have to hush (just a little bit) that doomsday voice that we all have telling us things are bad. We have to do that so that we can recognize that this is more than a Rocky I situation; we really can win. We really do make progress in society. We really are learning to be more sympathetic, more caring, more charitable as a whole.

So back to my fear, I ask myself: how does it benefit anyone at all, least so myself, if I just sit back and wait for this bridge to collapse, for the pathway of understanding between offender and victim to break down and sink into the water, for the strong stones that hold up this structure to crumble under the pressure of those who stomp on them? And what if I was supposed to be one of those stones fortifying this bridge? A small stone, yes, but a stone nonetheless. What then if I do nothing to strengthen and support it? If I let myself fall away and weaken it instead?

Every stone that falls, no matter how small, weakens the bridge.

So I guess it’s time to double (maybe triple) my resolve toward that fortification. It’s time to listen more, to share more, to understand more. It’s time to brainstorm practical applications and methods for change. Time to be more involved. Time to be more than an onlooker.

Whether you’re a celebrity in a black dress on a red carpet holding a golden globe, or just someone with a story, it’s time to fortify this bridge to a better place.

#Timesup on sitting back and waiting for failure. It’s time to take control and create success. Let’s keep moving forward.

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